Piece Of Cake
Listen, I don’t need a cardboard sign to point out Strawberry Shortcake’s disturbed sister. She does a fine enough job getting attention on her own. Although, if I were her I’d be a little more careful with that cake purse at Walmart; Someone is bound to snatch that up and try eating it. Texas
Baby’s First Pimp
Congratulations, your child is now destined for pure greatness. Rumor has it that when Bill Gates, Barack Obama, Steve Jobs, and Mark Zuckerberg were born, Willy the Pimp was flown in as the honorary baby-ass smacker to get ’em crying! Florida
WWIB: Red Vs. Blue
As we creep up on the 4th of July, I’d like to get my outfit picked out for the weekend and I can’t decided which of these two to rock out in. Help me out with some advice in this edition of “Who Wears It Better?” Pennsylvania
Southern Push Pops
I also once dreamed of having Push Pops as fingers, but then I turned 8 and realized that it’s not a good idea. Georgia
