We’re Jammin’
Anyone else as jacked up for Cinco de Mayo as I am?!?!?!…No? Nobody? Ahh, because we aren’t Mexican so it doesn’t mean anything to us and like true assholes we just bastardized it into a stereotype of drinking Corona and eating tacos? Makes sense. It’s next Tuesday by the way. Just a heads up. Texas
Personal Property
Hey! You staring at dat ass? Just because it looks like someone threw paint on her personal seismograph doesn’t mean you get to look. That’s his ass and he wants you to know it. Back off son. Illinois
Waving The White Flag
Sweet baby Jesus. What. The Shit. Is That? Bruce Jenner makes a better looking lady and he just started last month! Whatever, my penis is officially retired. Hanging up the jersey, it’s over. He doesn’t wanna play no mo’ and that’s on you lady. Unknown
Biker Bob
Wow. The Verizon “Can you hear me now” guy was much nicer about it than you are and look how popular he got. Who was having that much trouble seeing you that it drove you to this vulgarity? Texas
