Smell E. Pig

Awww it’s a little piggy. I bet you named him something adorable like Hamlet or Chris P. Bacon. So cute, now do me a favor and get it the f*ck out of here because this is a store and not a farm. I will not think twice about cooking up some ham & eggs right […]

What’s My Age Again?

This is like another remake of 13 Going On 30 because I honestly can’t tell if this is a 13 year old trapped in a 30 year old’s body or a 30 year old trapped in a 13 year old’s body. Michigan

The Shaving

Things I appreciate – proper hygiene. Things I don’t appreciate – you practicing your hygiene in public around my food. Iowa

The Skunk

Stylist: What can I do for you? Her: Give me that rotting skunk carcass. Stylist: I smell what you’re cookin’. Mississippi